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Hey chatterseeds! Hope all of your weeks went as well as they could. To be honest, I sometimes forget what I do during the week but as I’m writing it will come back to me. Anywho, YOU GUYS. I finally saw Wicked and oh my heavens I have no words. I mean, I have so many words that it feels as though I have none because I don’t know which ones to use! It was phenomenal, one of the best movies I have seen in a while, and I like to think of myself as an amateur critic and film fanatic, so that’s saying something. From watching the previews over the past few months, I knew that it would make me cry just from the music however, chatterseeds, I SOBBED. I could not stop crying at the end my poor dad’s handkerchief had tears and snot all over it. It was just amazing. I had seen the stage version when I was 7-years old, but wow. Phenomenal. And all the behind the scenes and film-making process fun facts are just astounding, I definitely recommend looking them up and checking it out because, wow.

Anyways, I could go on about movies and musicals forever so I will get into the week’s highlights. I got to spend time getting to know a good friend’s girlfriend and you guys, she is the sweetest, I just love her. She is just a wonderful, sweet soul and already is inspiring me to build better habits for myself spiritually. (If you don’t already know, I am religious – a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or our old street name, “Mormon” – and will reference this from time to time because well, it’s a big part of my life!) Anywho, I also went on a date this week. I know, exciting. I am finally sort of in the dating world so yay for that! The guy was super sweet leading up to the date and although very shy, super sweet on the date. We went to dinner at this place neither of us had been and it was not my usual style but pretty decent! He paid for the meal and opened my car doors, what a gentleman. I’m not sure if there will be a second date, but I am not opposed to the notion, and we have been texting since the date so that is a good sign, I think.

Y’all, the hot water in my apartment was off for most of the week, not fun. Thankfully, my family lives like, 15-2o minutes away so my roommate and I went down and took hot showers, had a nice homemade meal, and watched a Christmas movie! It was great…except for the part where I slipped and feel directly on my knee. Don’t worry chatterseeds, I am all good, just a bit bruised and tender. Honestly, it kind of cracks me up especially my family and roommate’s POVs. To them, one minute I was up and the next there was a loud *SMACK* and I was down. I guess my socks are just too soft and the kitchen floor too smooth.

This week began end of semester busy season. I had work at 4am three days in a row and then a lot to work on for school! I don’t mind waking up early for work, I much prefer it to going to bed late. And although I am a bit stressed with all the assignments and finals to get done, some of them have been fun to work on. This semester I switched my major from Psychology to Communications and so some of my final projects have included making short films which has actually be so fun! I am excited to finish editing and see the results.

Alright chatterseeds, this was a bit of a long one but you know what, sometimes that’s just how it is haha. I hope that you all have a great week this week and to those of you also in finals season, I wish you all the best of luck. We can do it soldiers. 🫡

Much love for all of you and thanks for reading! </3

Hello chatterseeds!! I hope that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. My Thanksgiving was alright, it involved a little family contention of course but then again, whose doesn’t? I had the entire week off of school and work besides a shift on Friday. It was great! However, I got sick at the beginning and also didn’t know what to do with all of the free time. I hung out with my family mostly at their house since they live pretty close to my apartment near campus. Now, my relationship with my family is many worlds of complicated so any extended period of time, especially when holidays are around, is bound to bring some conflict. Although, this year was much less contentious than years past so yay for that!

Something that has been hard for me for a long time but especially this week with all the free time, is loneliness. Now let’s get one thing straight, being alone and being lonely are two different things. I used to think they were the same and that I hated both, but I actually do not mind being alone as much as I used to. It gives me time to think which can sometimes be dangerous. Anyways, loneliness. Truthfully, I do not have much of a social life. I don’t have very many friends and I lack enough confidence to go out and do lots of things by myself and be happy about it. Now I don’t tell you this so you can pity me, I want the opposite of that. This is very cheesy because everyone says that everyone feels lonely sometimes and blah blah blah. While that may be true, it doesn’t need to invalidate the feeling that yeah, I wish I was doing something with someone and the truth that yeah, I don’t have very many friends. And you know what guys? That’s okay!

This year I have had a lot of personal growth in the feelings and emotions department. I have a lot of mental health struggles, (that maybe I’ll share eventually but for right now will leave it broad), that make regulating my emotions REALLY hard. All of my emotions tend to be extreme no matter how big or small the situation is and that is hard to manage sometimes. But I have a fantastic team that has supported me and helped me to grow so that I can handle my emotions better. So now when I have these dreadful feelings of loneliness, I allow myself to feel them because 1. they are totally valid and 2. if I don’t, then they will just build up and explode later. The trick is, not letting those feelings consume me. I’ve gotten great at feeling my feels and then accepting the reality and moving on with an optimistic outlook. Of course this doesn’t work every single time but hey, I’m still learning, just like all of us.

Anyways, I hope you all had a great holiday and didn’t feel too lonely. And if you did, that’s okay too. We all have feelings and holidays are tough. So buckle up and get ready for the biggest holiday of the year coming in just 24 days. And good luck to those who have finals the next two weeks, we can do it.

Love you all and thanks for reading! </3

Hey chatterseeds!! Have you ever really taken time to think about the things you are thankful for? I don’t do it nearly as often as I should. However, this week I randomly had the thought to start a little gratitude notebook. Usually when I think of gratitude journals I make it way too complicated. It can feel like you have to follow all of these rules like how many things you have to list and you HAVE to do it everyday. This time, I just genuinely wanted to write down a couple of the things I am grateful for and throughout the week I pulled it out and wrote in it. I didn’t do it everyday but the moments I did, it grounded me. I am a person with a LOT of anxiety. I have therapy and meds which is super great and all, but that really only mitigates it and helps to cope, it never just disappears. But there are moments when I do feel a sense of calm and peace and one of those is when I was writing in my little gratitude notebook.

This week was a bit of a struggle in the overthinking department. I had a really fun date last week and this guy is super cute and super sweet but, he takes FOREVER to respond. That part doesn’t completely bother me since when he does respond and when we went out the conversations were always awesome. What is making me anxiously overthink, is the fact that we discussed a second date to pick up our ceramics from the first date. We went to Color Me Mine*, a super fun place where you go and paint ceramics and then pick them up about a week later after they’ve been glazed and fired! It was super cute and a really fun time. I painted a little gingerbread ornament like the character Gingy from Shrek (one of my all time favorite movies). Anyways, he just hasn’t gotten back to me in a couple of days which isn’t unusual, but I guess I’m just super excited to go out again since I’ve been overthinking it so much haha.

Actually, the way we met is a really funny and kind of embarrassing story. So I work at a Starbucks which is like, the best job ever, and a new car wash just opened up across the street. The car wash had sign twirlers posted throughout various points along both sides of the street to advertise their new opening and one really cold morning one of the sign twirlers was near our drive-thru window. I thought I should bring him some hot cocoa to keep him warm so I brought a cup out to him. I thought he was cute and came back in the store and told my coworkers and they were all telling me I should have given him my number. I protested claiming it would be totally embarrassing but ended up taking him a water cup with my name and number on it. Throughout my shift I would occasionally look over at him sign twirling and as it got warmer he took of his hat and gloves and at one moment, I SAW A WEDDING RING!!! I was absolutely MORTIFIED. I mean sure yes how was I supposed to know, but still, incredibly embarrassing. The rest of the day I avoided making eye contact. However, later in the afternoon I got a text from the guy telling me thanks for the cocoa and that he’s married, but, he has a coworker who is super fun and nice and wondered if he could pass my number along to him! I thought that was so sweet and said sure, why not? I mean, what have I got to lose right guys? So his friend texted me and thus I met my date.

Anyways chatterseeds, my biggest takeaways from this week are that I want to practice gratitude more, it’s okay to be anxious but it doesn’t need to rule my life, and everyone is going through and doing their own things.

Thanks for reading, love you all!! </3

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Hello chatterseeds! I have not posted in far too long. The last few years have been quite the experience. I graduated high school, moved, started college, chose a major, switched majors, and been on a few dates! I’ve done a lot of reflecting recently on my life and what I want to do with it, and there are lots of different opportunities out there for me and paths I could take.

I’ve decided that I want to use this platform to just let it all out there, my thoughts, feelings, life experiences, life lessons, funny stories, real talk struggles, all of it. More and more people are just showing the real raw them, but I believe we could use a lot more of it. I want chatterseed to be unfiltered because I appreciate the unfiltered humanity of various influencers. I may not be an influencer, but I am a person and I have real thoughts and feelings. I don’t know if anyone will ever actually see these posts, or care, but that isn’t the point. The point is for me to put my experiences out into the world and hopefully make an impact on at least one person, even if that person is just me.

Welcome back and buckle up chatterseeds, it’s going to be a wild ride.

Hey y’all! I am just combining both Breaking Dawn movies together since they are just one book. 

*SPOILER ALERT* Yes, I will say this every single time. There are most definitely going to be SPOILERS. Okay, y’all have been warned.

Y’all I am so freakin happy! I FINALLY understand why Alice left haha! I was always sooooo confused as to why she left and now I finally understand that it was because she had to find the half human half immortal child. It totally makes sense now. 

Everytime I see Jacob imprint on Renesmee I am totally shook because he was so in love with Bella. I also don’t understand how he could imprint on a baby but whatever lol. 

I love Bella as a vampire because she’s just so awesome! She is like the best vampire there is. 

I do NOT like the Voltourie. They are just downright evil and they need to chillax.

Breaking Dawn (both parts) are so good! 

I honestly just love all of the Twilight movies. They just tell the story from the books so well. It brings to life the characters I imagined in my head and I just love the way the actors portray their characters. It was just amazing. 

Anyways, I just love this series and wanted to blog about it. I know I didn’t say much about Breaking Dawn, but it’s kinda just one of those things you have to see for yourself to know how amazing it is.

Peace out! <3

Hey y’all! So, today’s Twilight Saga movie was Eclipse. This movie really had me on an emotional roller coaster; because Bella chose. 

*SPOILER ALERT* Yes, I will say this every single time. There are most definitely going to be SPOILERS. Okay, y’all have been warned.

So because Bella is being hunted by an evil vampire army, the wolves and vampires create a truce. (AKA Jacobs clan and the Cullens). This is tough because Jacob and Edward have some serious beef when it comes to Bella, because they are both in love with her. However, because the matter concerns Bella’s safety, they are both willing to do anything for her. 

Jacob desperately tries getting Bella to admit her feelings for him; which ends up with her getting a broken hand. Who knew you couldn’t punch werewolves. 

Anyways, eventually, Bella FINALLY admits that she loves Jacob as well as Edward (because you CAN love two people), but that she loves Edward more. I REALLY wish she would’ve chosen Jacob, *sigh*. 

Jacob and Edward successfully defeated the evil vampire army of course, except Jacob got hurt. When Bella went to visit him, he finally knew that she had chosen Edward and that’s the way it would be. It was really sad. But, he said they would still be friends! He just needs some time. Which is understandable of course!!! I mean who wouldn’t need time after getting rejected?! At least Jacob hasn’t imprinted yet, so he still has hope for a better love life. (I mean I already know what will happen but it’s fun to watch it all play out ;). 

Bella accepts Edward’s marriage proposal so I can’t wait to watch the wedding scene in the next movie.

Peace out! <3

Hey y’all! So the next Twilight Saga movie is New Moon. This one really pulled on my heartstrings. 

*SPOILER ALERT* Yes, I will say this every single time. There are most definitely going to be SPOILERS. Okay, y’all have been warned.

As I said in the previous post, I am 10000000% Team Jacob. I mean how can you not be?! He is so obviously in love with Bella and would do ANYTHING for her! Even if it hurts him, like letting her be with Edward. My heart just hurt for him soooo much during this movie. Jacob is just so sweet and kind and caring and just UGH amazing!!! I wish Bella would choose him, but I know that is unfortunately a matter of the heart which cannot be controlled. Her heart loves them both but wants Edward. *sigh*

Also I FINALLY understand why Bella apologizes for bleeding when she hits her head in her motorcycle accident. It’s because she’s used to being around Edward and his family. DUH! I have no idea why I didn’t realize that before haha. 

Edward is a stinkin idiot! He literally just abandoned Bella and doesn’t even check in to make sure she is okay! How could he do that to her!! I mean yeah he thinks he’s protecting her but literally he’s making everything worse! I honestly do not understand boys at all. Not one bit. And then, after doing all that and threatening to kill himself, he asks Bella to marry him! Marriage!! Like what?! That is crazy! And we won’t even see her answer until the next movie. *sigh*

New Moon is a roller coaster of emotions for me. I love rewatching these movies though.

Peace out! <3

Hey y’all!! So I’m taking a little break from Private Practice because all of the Twilight movies are on Amazon Prime right now and I want to watch them all because it is literally one of my favoritest book series EVER! Obviously first:

*SPOILER ALERT* Yes, I will say this every single time. There are most definitely going to be SPOILERS. Okay, y’all have been warned.

Okay so like Twilight is just amazing in general y’all. Anyways, so I watched the first movie (for like I don’t even know what time) and I haven’t actually watched it in a while and I forgot how good it is! Also, watching things I watched a few years ago is always fun because I understand things better or I notice new things. Anyways, I love Twilight. (I will probably say that a million times throughout this blog series). For those of you who do not like Twilight, I am sorry because the next like 5 posts will be about the movies and also, what the heck dudes! It’s amazing! (I am 100000000% Team Jacob!) Okay first of all I am so confused because there are so many different versions of Vampires, like what they are allergic to or what kills them or how they appear in things. And in Stephenie Meyer’s version, they sparkle in sunlight and they have reflections. I always thought Vampires didn’t have reflections but sure enough in this movie when Bella and Edward are dancing in the very end at Prom, you can see his reflection in the lake or whatever. So I was a little confused but to each their own right?

Edward’s faces. Oh my goodness it is so funny to watch Edward. The way he conveys his emotions, mostly his upsetness or anger, on his face is hilarious. He looks so disturbed and not normal or like he has to poo. It’s so funny oh my gosh I cannot! 

I feel so bad for Charlie because like Bella lives with her mom most of her life and barely sees her dad, and then all of the sudden a teenage girl moves into his house whom he’s barely seen. I mean she’s his daughter, of course he loves her but it’s still quite an adjustment for him. And he tries so hard it’s so sweet. I’m just glad that Bella didn’t actually want to leave Forks and her dad. 

Rosalie needs to chill the heck out. Edward clearly loves Bella, and like yes she’s a human but she’s chill and would never spill the beans. I mean Rosalie barely knows Bella and already totally hates her! I think it is because she was supposed to be with Edward but he didn’t want her. I can’t remember though.

I love Alice! She is so fun and sweet and bubbly! She just lightens up the room. She immediately welcomes Bella into the family and makes her feel loved and welcome. I think that Alice is my favorite character. 

This post and the next few will literally just be whatever random stuff I noticed or liked about the movies haha so don’t’ expect plots or specific things. Anyways, that was all I really wanted to say for this one haha. 

Peace out! <3

Hey y’all! I’ve watched a couple more episodes since last time I posted.

*SPOILER ALERT* Yes, I will say this every single time. There are most definitely going to be SPOILERS. Okay, y’all have been warned.

So, Addison and Kevin seem to be getting a bit more serious. I actually like them together as a couple, I think they are cute and he respects her.

Pete likes another woman named Meg. They knew each other a long time ago when they were first becoming doctors and went traveling around the world for different causes together. Well, she came to L.A. for a visit and they got together. I don’t know how I feel about her yet because we haven’t been given much info about who she is as a person and stuff. I still want Pete and Addison to get together. 

Cooper wants more of a relationship with Charlotte. So, he tells her this, and she actually is kind of okay with it. So they start to get to know each other better. I actually like them together, I think that they are cute because they balance each other out. 

Sam and Naomi seem to have finally got past all their fighting and are now back together. I hope they stay together this time because it will cause so much less drama and things will just be so much better! 

I really love this show, not just because it is a sub-series to Grey’s Anatomy, but because the story it tells between the people is so interesting and I just love seeing how characters grow and how their relationships develop. 

That’s all for today y’all! <3

Hey y’all! I don’t know about you guys but life in quarantine has been so boring and the days just drag on. So I am very grateful for this Blog and Private Practice keeping me sane. 

*SPOILER ALERT* Yes, I will say this every single time. There are most definitely going to be SPOILERS. Okay, y’all have been warned.

So Pete has FINALLY come to his senses and asked Addison out! She was taken quite by surprise, but said she would have to think about it. She actually had gone out on a date with a cop, Kevin, and he hadn’t called her. So she ended up calling him and they went out again. So the next day when Pete followed up on his invite, Addison told him there was someone else and Pete got upset. I think that Pete should try harder if he really is into Addison. Don’t just give up that’s silly.

Cooper has been seeing Charlotte King from the hospital nearby and hasn’t told Violet. Violet knows something is up but Cooper refuses to tell her anything. He FINALLY tells her about Charlotte and she is kind of sad. I think Violet has feelings for Cooper but doesn’t really realize it because they are such close friends.

I REALLY want Pete to keep seeking Addison’s heart. And I hope that Violet realizes she likes Cooper and that they can finally get together. <3